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Just after Cold Earth came out,
in the summer of 2009, I moved to Iceland for a year with my husband
and two sons. People always ask why we went and the truth is that I
still don’t really know: because it was there, because we could,
because we thought it would be interesting (it was), because I’d
fallen in love with the place when I was nineteen, because we didn’t
want to spend the rest of our lives in Kent.
We lived in a newly-built flat in a
largely empty development in Gardabaer, a wealthy suburb of Reykjavik
which we chose to be close to the International School and the sea. I
had a lectureship at the University of Iceland, where I taught
Romantic poetry and creative writing. I found the experience of being
a foreigner very hard. I didn’t know how to catch a bus or pay a
bill, where to buy light-bulbs or calpol.
The early days of living abroad are infantilizing, and made harder by
a certain kind of Britishness that would rather kill itself (without
making a fuss) than make a stupid mistake in public. I talked, one
day, to some of my students about this paralyzing sense of idiocy and
they, who had almost all lived abroad themselves at some point, told
me that the Icelandic word for stupid is ‘heimsku’, one who stays
at home. You stop being stupid by embracing your stupidity.
So that’s what Leave of Absence
is about, living in a new place and asking questions. It’s partly
about the landscape and seasons; the way we noticed the migratory
birds whose passages tell you the seasons almost as reliably as the
changing light, winter walks haunted by the aurora borealis, the
hours of sunset and sunrise that make summer nights. It’s also
about living with the volcano, and the financial crisis, but mostly
it’s about the conversations I had with Icelanders when I started
to seek answers to my foolish foreign questions. How do you live with
a landscape that might come and get you in the night, with boiling
geysirs and earthquakes as well as Arctic blizzards and active volcanoes? How do you reconcile the obsession with national
independence and separatism with openness? How can you define
national identity by physical and emotional toughness while
explaining that it’s ‘unIcelandic’ to walk anywhere? Last but
not least, who really believes in the Hidden People? |